When a Tragic Death Affects Us All: Understanding Collective Grief
Many people have found themselves deeply affected by the recent murder of Renee Good, even though they never knew her personally. That reaction can be confusing. You might wonder why this loss feels so heavy, or why it’s lingering in your body and mind when it didn’t happen to someone in your immediate circle.
This response makes sense. What you may be experiencing is collective grief—a shared emotional response to loss that extends beyond personal connection.
What Is Collective Grief?
Collective grief occurs when a tragic event affects a community, a region, or society as a whole. Even without a personal relationship, people can feel sadness, fear, anger, or numbness after hearing about a violent or sudden death.
These reactions often come from empathy, identification, and a shared sense of vulnerability. When someone’s life is taken abruptly, it can shake our belief that the world is predictable or safe—especially when the story feels close to home.
Why These Stories Affect Us So Deeply
In my work, I often see women struggle to understand why certain stories “get under their skin” more than others. Many say things like, “I don’t know her, so why can’t I stop thinking about this?”
One reason is identification. We imagine ourselves, our loved ones, or our routines in similar circumstances. Another reason is proximity—geographic, cultural, or emotional. When a tragedy feels close, our nervous system responds as if the threat is closer too.
This isn’t weakness. It’s how our brains are wired to protect us.
How Repeated Exposure Can Increase Anxiety
Today, we don’t hear about tragic events once—we’re exposed to them repeatedly through social media, news alerts, and ongoing commentary. Each new post or update can re-activate the nervous system.
Many women notice:
Heightened anxiety or hypervigilance
A growing sense of mistrust or unease
Conflicting information that’s hard to make sense of
A feeling that the world is more dangerous than it used to feel
When the nervous system is exposed to repeated cues of danger, it stays in a state of alert. Over time, this can lead to anxiety symptoms—racing thoughts, difficulty sleeping, irritability, or a sense of being constantly on edge.
When Grief and Anxiety Overlap
Collective grief and anxiety often travel together. Grief brings sadness and loss; anxiety brings fear and uncertainty. Together, they can feel overwhelming—especially for women who are already carrying a lot emotionally.
Many women try to cope by limiting how much they think about the event, but still feel unsettled. Others feel guilty for being affected at all. Both reactions are common, and neither means you’re doing something wrong.
You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone
Collective grief reminds us that we’re connected—to each other, to our communities, and to the broader world. It can also remind us how important it is to have spaces where we can talk honestly about what we’re feeling, without judgment or pressure to “move on.”
Therapy can offer a place to make sense of these reactions, calm an overwhelmed nervous system, and find steadier footing when the world feels uncertain. You don’t have to have a personal connection to a loss for it to matter to you.
A Gentle Closing Thought
If the death of Renee Good has affected you, even from a distance, your response is human. It reflects care, empathy, and awareness—not weakness. In times like these, tending to your emotional well-being isn’t indulgent; it’s necessary.
If you’re feeling unsettled, anxious, or emotionally heavy after recent events, support can help. You don’t have to carry this alone.
